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Original illustration by Brendan Haley haleydoodledo. Throughout my week in Puerta Vallarta, I kept hearing whispers about a private island, only accessible by boat, where all the hot gay boys get tipsy, strip naked, and fuck in a cave. Since I thoroughly enjoy attractive naked men and public sex, this seemed right up my alley. As I waited in line to hop on the boat, which would take us to our private gay island, I spotted a man impossible to miss.
Harlan stood a little over 6 feet tall and, if I had to guess, was roughly pounds. He was a beast of a man. Every last inch of him was covered in hair, and as I write this, I realize he looked like Gaston, which explains why I would have happily pushed a child in front of a moving car just to suck one 1! Or, at the very least, he has an OnlyFans.
Not doing so is selfish. Yes, I believe being attractive and not having an OnlyFans is selfish. It mayyyy be coming sooner than you think. Bitch was cracking one-liners nonstop. Lord, have mercy on us all. When we got to the isle, which reminded me of Skull Island—home to yet another sexy beast—we spotted an umbrella in the sand right next to the cave.
We laid our towels down, and I took off my trunks. HOW was his dick that pretty? How did its size match the rest of his gigantic frame? And while he was cut, he still had some foreskin.
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It was a marvel attached to yet another marvel. Do you know how much restraint I showed by not dropping to my knees in front of everyone? There were some rocks next to the water that I could have easily thrown myself on, propping my ass up so he could harpoon his rod directly into my hole. But No0o0o0o0o. As the afternoon progressed and the palomas kicked in, I no longer wanted to be respectful. I wanted to be disrespectful or, rather, disrespected with his thick sausage down my throat.
Luckily, Harlan was getting thirsty, too, so when I asked if we should find some other boys to join us in the cave, he was on board. Two boys from Guadalajara, Pedro and Luis, were only a few umbrellas down. Pedro sat on his stomach, his ass in the air like two circular mounds. Louis lay on his back, his dick carelessly slung across his left thigh. Both bearded with classic dark features, bushy eyebrows, and brown eyes—they were the pick of the litter.
When they headed into the water to cool off, Harlan and I joined. We asked the regular questions: Where are you from? How long are you in PV? How long have you been together?